What are some funny and smart quotes?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Marathon isn’t going to be another Concord, Sony insists - polygon.com

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

What are the different celebrity lists (A-list, B-list, C-list, D-list)? How does one become a part of these lists and move up or down in status?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Relocating to Sweden to save money. I got a job offer of 47000SEK before tax, visas sponsored for my wife & my mother (with a laryngectomy). My wife, a general medicine graduate, wants to specialize in Sweden. Can we live well and save 4000€ monthly?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”